you dont call & we dont talk anymore...

hmmm... it's been exactly 6months since i last wrote... and... i wish more had changed... but here we are... still in the same spot.

so what happened in the past 6months?

off the cuff, i can only think of staying with alex for 5 months.

5 months... it's a short period, but with memories enough to last the next 50 years... if i even have that long.

yet, it has only been but 6 weeks since he has left....
and just 6 weekends without him...
but it feels like 6 years...

he, and nobody, knows exactly how much i cry.
i have lost track too.
he says it is not possible to cry a bottle of tears.
but i think it might just have been literally a few buckets...

and yet... we have talked for no more than 6 phone calls.

how does one accept a change... from 24/7 to less than 6 phonecalls in 6 weeks?

i dont know... but it is as it is...
and i know i have to learn to prepare...
for less than 6 phonecalls in 6 months...
and less than 6 phonecalls in 6 years...

soon... i know we wont even know what to talk about anymore, though i've got so much to say to you.

soon... 6 phonecalls would be too much for you...

and soon, there wont be many more 6 years left...