请你少讨厌我一点点... 好吗？

我又不想活下去了。

Today, Ah Jart got into a small accident. I was gonna meet ex-colleagues for dinner. Was gonna take CTE before diverting into PIE. At Braddell, while waiting for the traffic lights to turn green, a car knocked Ah Jart's behind. A third car had banged into the 2nd car, causing it to roll forward and touch Ah Jart.

It wasn't major, but it scared me.

I called my dad, only to get farked off. He wanted me to get a written note from the 2nd guy, saying that since there are no damages incurred between us, we mutually agree to let the matter rest. But the guy was unwilling, I was shivering while talking to my dad... and he was just screaming at me. I ended up making my dad talk to the guy. My dad started his thing about how I will be going to the police station to make a report if he doesn't write me the note.

So, the guy wrote me the note. He was nice. Given how his car was banged head and back, he was nice enough. He's Indian, but he wasn't impatient. You can tell he's snobbish. But he's civil.

I felt scared standing in the middle of the road. I didn't know if I should be letting the car engine continue running or shut it off. I didn't know if I should leave the signals lights on anot. I was afraid the rain would get heavier. I was afraid I would get run over. I am scared of the Indian man. I was afraid people behind would honk at me since I was the first vehicle and we were at the junction.

Now I come back, I feel terrible. More terrible.

I am told my dad's pissed with me cos I didn't make sure that the guy phrase the blardy note properly. It is not shown clearly enough that I was the first vehicle. Although the note states enough to free us from any liability, he is displeased cos it is not specific enough.

And my mom who knows nothing, adds to it.

I think she wants me to go apologise to him for the less than specific note. And she wants me to say it out that I AM STUPID.

I should have stood in the next lane and get run over.

Daddy... 　我快撑不下做你女儿的压力了．．．　你懂吗？我为了你和老妈，无数次站在五楼电梯旁的走廊，想就这样的跳下去算了．．．　你懂吗？我那么做，你会满意一 点吗？我不奢求你和老妈爱我．．．　但你们可以不要那么讨厌我吗？只要少讨厌我一点点，我就应该会很满足了．．．　可以吗？

:'(