Through the Rush Hour

I went out with Stena for our 4th movie in less than 2 weeks. Julia found Superwoman by Karen White for me.

Having listened to it for nearly 40 times by now as it repeats itself... it feels to me like pain doesn't disappear with time.

I think it just grows in a more dormant, controlled manner....

Some people help to make life easier... and some people... just make it that slightly more painful...

I just feel proned to being sucked in by misery.... and perhaps take 3 times the time to recover....

Or maybe I haven't seen TSJ for too long... I'm afraid no one understands anymore or something....

Right now... everything feels distant... nothing feels real. The life I had, the life ahead, the memories I hold, the evening spent watching a movie with Stena and the 2 hours of chat we just had... sometimes I wonder if they exist... and sometimes - like this moment in time - I wish all these are just simulations.

The only thing that feels real is pain...

Well... and as it seems... the fact that I am only human.