The Aries Man

I dreamt of my beloved Olivier last night... in a very beautifully happy kind of way (yeah.. considering how I choose to see the world in a beautiful light currently... haha)...

I was supposed to be his kept woman... cos his family doesn't allow for an Asian girl... and he paid $70 for me to attend his D&D with him... hahah!

Hey... D&D IS coming up on 22 Oct as I found out from my ex-colleagues... so... I'm keeping my stumpy fingers crossed for that little shot of havingmy dreams come true... haha....

I woke up at 7 am with the dream so clear and vivid in my head... I smsed many people to tell them about it! haha! It's one of my happiest dreams ever I think.

I've liked many people... butches, non-butches-but-tomboyish-people (yes yes... aka 'actives'), guys, cartoons...

But I've not liked many MEN! And Olivier is just... well... potentially the only MAN I have liked!

Yeah.

The rest are really quite no balls la. Butches & actives can excuse... but... the rest... still really no balls la...

The male species specific are pretty much... rubbishy characters. Yes... I did like them very much... but they are not characters I can proudly NAME on my blog... unlike Olivier...

Heh heh heh... (cheap thrill out of seeing his name... haha)

Anyway, I woke up feeling energized... and found a renewed motivation to pursue one of the thousand million things I want in my life...

And so, I enthusiastically sent emails in response to job cuttings that I have accumulated over the past 3 weeks... those that specify "Willing to travel"...

Shit... I just realised I took 3 weeks to get over a SG guy... &$%&#...

My craving to be a jetsetter is back! I suddenly miss the apprehensive fear in going abroad alone... the last minute rush in packing my bags... the arrival at some place new and realise I have forgotten to bring the 5-10 most important things I can't live without...

Yes... I miss the feeling of self-importance that I felt. I miss the feeling of feeling like a smartass when can get my way around anywhere and everywhere with a map. And I miss going around feeling lost... and opening my golden mouth to ask strangers for directions etc...

I miss acting busy... and BEING busy...

I don't want to be in Singapore cos I know that I know my way around this island better than most people do. It bores, not to mention disgusts, me... that most men and women would get more lost than I would, when u plonk them into any obscure corner of Singapore. And isn't it so so so so so boring when you watch the news and you just know which shopping centre or which exact section of East Coast your health minister is launching some Qigong Week on a Sunday?

Maybe I like getting myself lost... and yet not feel helpless. I love not knowing where I am, and how much time I need to get out of an undefined space (I am trying to leave out mazes... I hate confined spaces)... I love that feeling... of fear making my heart so very fast... and yet... beating even faster at knowing that I am gonna find my way out really soon...

I don't want to be lazy anymore...

And it takes an Aries Man to make me realise that...

Hahah...:p