Noble Ambition?

It's been 6 months and 7 days since I was last on any official payroll.

Let me get this straight - I WILL ANNOUCE IT to EVERYONE somehow when I DO get a job! Via Blog, sms, call, email, mother, meeting... YES! I will let you know even if I think you are a loser, just so I can get you off my back!

So stop asking me if I am working yet.

Otherwise, accept my scornful tone with you... accept it when I am kind enough to reply "NOTHING" to you.

DO NOT COUNTER-REPLY with a HUH!?

And I do wanna get a job now... cos I would like to earn some money to pay for my aunts' travel.

It's not like they made any requests to have trips whatsoever... but they more or less brought me up, and now that I get to travel around quite freely, I want to let them do the same thing... or even bring them along with me where I can afford to.

And it feels really horrible that I have to currently lie to/hide it from them that I'm going Perth with my parents this coming November. Mom says she doesn't want them to feel gian about it... and one of my aunts are gonna feel grudgy about having to be left at home to take care of Shea...

They hadn't had much in their lives... being taken for granted as nannies to my generation... and even the next one (Shea). They have been described as weirdos, strange, psychotic, adultress blah blah...

But to me... I guess they deserve more...

I suddenly feel like such a selfish person.

I suddenly realise it is NOT enough that I am independent.

I should be providing.

But such provisions should of course be restricted for those who deserve it.

For a long time, I have felt upset about how I can never repay my grandma for what she has given to me. But... I lost track of the returns I CAN provide for the 2 other aunts who brought me up... for the 2 aunts who have stopped my mom from imflicting more physical and psychological on me as a kid.

And I feel like such an ingrate now.

If I just work for 3 months as a rubbishy temp... that should give me maybe $2 of savings (taureans can save a lot... especially if they are born in the year of the rooster as well)... and that should allow me to bring them to Bangkok or Phuket or a cruise...

I need to start planning... and Christmas is coming...

HIYAH!!! Where am I gonna find so much money?!?!?!