Chant - I Am Responsible

After being jobless for more than 5 mths now, it takes no super psychic to know for a fact that I am getting kinda broke.

I hate it when a conversation like this has to occur:

XXX: So... have you found a job?/Are you working now?/Where are you working now?

Me: Nope. I'm not working at the moment.

XXX: (giving a shocked/trying to be empathetic/sorry-i-hurt-your-feelings look) oh my! Sorry I asked... the job market is still that bad huh???

Me: Roll eyes.

Hypocrite. If you ARE sorry... then shut up... isn't it? And what is there to be sorry abt in the first place huh?!?!? It's not like my pet dinosuar died!!!!!!

And....

Stop thinking that the job market is bad... or hanging that sentence on your lips!!! Firstly, the govt is trying to convince you that the job market is good... so stop reading 2002's newspapers! And, if it is really that bad, chances are I think YOU should be scrubbing my toilet bowl given your level of intellect! As much as you are probably the annoying kind who'd rant abt office politics in whatever space you currently belong to... please be smart enough not to expose your disgusting flaws to me so openly!!!!!!!

So let me clarify... I am unemployed/jobless... BECAUSE i am lazy... and it is hence more of by choice than by anything other reason ok! Simply put... there is absolutely nothing that I would wanna throw all of my passion into at the moment... work my ass off... etc

If you can't understand... let me try again...

$2000 isn't enough to get me to become an Office Politician willingly.... understand?

Such people are just so stupid... and makes me wonder if I may actually convince them to let an earthworm crawl up their noses/into their ears... suffocate the worm in their head... so that when the worm dies... they can rightfully take over what brain-matter remains from the worm.

Anyway... coming back to my initial point...

I may be broke, but I am generally happy... and despite the fact that I am broke, I am glad that I am able to take responsibiities of my actions. I may not be able to afford things you, a commoner, could... but I know it is my fault at most... for not working and getting that money to afford all that.

My bro... once tattempted to take his life as we know. He, was somewhat responsible as well, in the way he (mis)handled the problems encircling his life. Still, he displayed responsibility in trying to end the problems by ending his life.

Our similarity... is that we do not go forth to point our fingers at others... we do not blame others for the mishaps that happen. We get god-damned angry with the world no doubt... but we more or less know we got ourselves to blame at the end of it... whether we like it or not.

Sure we are proud... everyone in the family is. But my bro and I are opened... and we do not lie... at least not at times when it would implicate or harm others. (the max we would go... is prob along the lines of... telling each other that Shea ate the chocolate... when it is actually one of us... hahah)

So it immensely disgusts me when I have to put up with finger-pointing rubbish (+ lies) like:

To the family whom are thought to be idiotic: The counsellor says Divorce is the ONLY way out if u want to pursue Happiness...

To the Husband: For making her get pregnant

To the Father/Parents: For forcing her to get married

To the aunts: For the daughter's present state of cranky, cant-do-without-diapers-and-pacifier behavior

To the sister (ie, me): For wanting to one fine day tell Shea the truth and sequences of events as they occur FACTUALLY IF I should be asked. Blame me for not taking care of her daughter's psychological well-being (??!?!?)

Yah... like you do yourself.

Come on! Are you a dumb concubine of the BC ages huh?!?!? Given how blardy selfish and self centred you are... can anyone really force anything upon you if you yourself ain't willing to do anything?!?!

It's farking gross when people just wants things in life to move in ONE way isn't it? And that aside, things gotta move in the direction she pleases... she gets what she wants and others just count themselves lucky if they can get any remains...

Hey! The world isn't yours to rule baby!

So stop pointing your freaking finger at the whole world else! If you are a loser, just admit it! Don't point your bleedy index at everyone one else, and try to create a new world for yourself by eliminating everyone around you!

And don't blame me for posting my hatred for you for the world to see. Don't blame me for embarrassing you or whatsoever in front of your friends here. I did not invite them to read.

I will be responsible for what discords we may have out of this. I will be responsible for what I sau even if you try to dismiss me as being childish what not.

But you really gotta be responsible for that finger and conscience of yours before you go wagging your tongue or finger away.