Attitude Problem

I have been wondering if there is anything I should be doing about my attitude problem...

Basically, for the past dunno-how-long, I concluded to myself that there isn't a need for me to be nice to people if it means that I have to tolerate with some side effects on my end... such as... exhausting some energy to smile, give a totally useless reply for the sake of responding in mild cases... or having to run errands (like 258 trips to NTUC to buy diapers and eggs) etc etc...

But, I realised recently that my intolerance for the many irritating daily happenings might have crossed some borders...

I do enjoy having the attitude problem that I possess now... cos it has saved me from running around executing the many non-meaningful chores, and I basically have more time to do whatever I want, even if it is nothing. I like the fact that I have managed to get a lot of people off my back as well...

When it comes to household members specific, the attitude problem bit has been statusquo I suppose. I have been told that I have an attitude problem since the day I was fetched home I suppose. So behaving the way I behave just helps to give the mother more credibility in her scolding sessions.

But... I lost my temper/patience with an interviewer 2 days ago...

Despite the fact that the asshole is short, slightly short-tongued, drooppy (?? I dunno how to spell such an ugly word la...) small eyes, limp haired, with a few chicken-pox scars, OBVIOUS low IQ, annoying... I think I should have at least controlled my temper... no?

He asked me two thousand million questions... and interrupted my every attempt to answer his lousy questions. So finally, after the 1999,999,999th interruption, I plainly took an audible deep breath, took a quick look at every corner of the room in the ceiling (ok... I rolled my eyes...) and told him something like...

You know, if you'd stop interrupting, and listen to what I have to say before you try to ask me another of your long questions... maybe you'd finally understand what I am trying to explain to you.

And he gave me a "ok... fine" look with those seedy holes in this face...

Then... short silence...

But then we resumed the interview la...

Sadly, I realised my coupon timing was up... and so repeatedly looked at my watch. No point getting a fine just cos' someone is trying hard to waste my time isn't it?

And not like I love repeating myself to strangers (or anyone...)... such a waste of time...

People like to ask you about your hobbies, strengths, weaknesses etc. They should start adding a line of DISLIKES.... so I can write/reply something like "idiotic Q&A sessions...especially those with standard answers" or "having to pretend to smile and act sweet for the sake of leaving a good impression"...

Anyhow...

I walked out, got into Ah Jart, didn't get a summon for being grossly 25mins off the coupon deadline (Not that I giam and put 50c coupon hor... I waited 45mins for the interview ok!)... and realised maybe the summon officers don't work when it's drizzling... so there wasn't that much of a need for me to rush through the interview just now...

So, I started to wonder if I should have been more polite... don't look at my watch so often just now... remained more calm etc... then maybe I wouldn't have lost my temper at the small man...

It just feels wrong to lose my cool in front of an interviewer like that la...

But I am not THAT desperate for a job... and I HATE stupid people who try to act smart. And there was an overwhlming need inside me to let him know just that what...

But I know I would have lived with it if I was in the situation 2 years ago... I would have cracked my knuckles under my skirt or something at most... but I would still smile above it all.

But, it's not just that I am changing... people are generally more fond of getting on my nerves isn't it?