Heaven is a wonderfully scary place

I have been used to being arrogant cos I am a self admitted smart ass. My IQ is high, my EQ is almost unmatched (in my opinion of course.) The reason why I haven't done superbly well so far is cos 1) I am lazy; 2) I have been contented; 3) I like to believe that there is more to life than winning.

But for the first time in my life, I feel like I am about to fail because of my lack of intelligence.

I say that because my new colleagues are sooo soooo smart. My English boss has a phd. So does my French boss. I don't know what other credentials the rest possess. But as I would claim and many other people would vouch... the entrance tests into the company are super hard and the interviews are killer sessions.

Being smart is just one thing.

The 10 odd colleagues I've met today - they have NO AIRS about them!! People are poised yet humble. They are relaxed, not stressed, yet you do get the feeling that they are doing super complex things. Amidst all these, they are super helpful and patient as well. And the sense of humor is just sooo... right! Nothing OTT, nothing dry.

And unlike the other consumer brands that operate on a more localised/regionalised scale... my dept is what we consider a Global Business Unit (GBU) cos we are more upstream. It's like... how people are familiar with Mobil/Shell from it's petrol/F1 sponsorships etc. These are no doubt very visible, very frontline... and very 'localised' packaged products. But the mining, rigging etc... that is where the real core of the business is. Crude will still serve it's purpose without advertising. But promos can't happen is there is no oil to sell.

Similarly... your pentene, SKII etc all sound glam. But if you don't have our miracle ingredients going in, then there isn't a product for you to sell is there?

There is no question to why such stringent recruiting/selection processes are in place. But I just can't help feeling like I am like... a dirt particle who somehow made my way through a super filter mask.

It's like I am a sinner who made my way to heaven. Like all others, it is where I WANT to be... and people there are simply saintly. But deep down inside I don't think I am good enough, and/or I don't think I really deserve it. But since I am inside, I also know I shouldn't get out. Haha.

Heaven is a wonderfully scary place.