Congratulations to Me

I'm looking forward to the end of my one year vacuum (since I left Michelin). Till then... I land myself into... well... events/dilemmas/confusions... all the time. Recapping on the week just passed...

Monday (21 Mar 05)
Quarrelled with a long time friend. All that happened was: She asked me for recommendations on where to take resume pics... she started to rave about her dislike for another friend, whom in the first place, she had never had personal problems with, and they haven't come into contact for the past month. I told her that I really would appreciate it if she would spare me from negative energy first thing in the week.

In return, I was screamed at for being a slut, bitch. Told me I was childish, useless and stupid... that's why I cannot find a job. She had been holding it back so difficultly for so long... but she just got to let a slut like me know that... kinda as a last favour she'd do for me... cos I was too stupid to not see that the only reason why I haven't got a job is cos I am too useless.

So... maybe I am a smart ass. Too bad for the whole world out there then.

I really do not wish to put up any defence for words spoken by someone sore with me for the past Nth years cos I've: -

a) performed better at 'O' Levels
b) performed better at 'A' Levels
c) got into NTU Marketing, even though I'd no prior intentions of getting into the course whereas she'd spent at least 4 years pining, but did too poorly to get in
d) never made wrong-enough decisions to get into foolish relationships, whereas she has been screwed by too many men for her own good
e) an older, generous dad who waived off my study loan for me, but she has to slog to pay it off
f) started off at a job with a glam factor, and getting a higher starting salary than her
g) being able to afford not working for a year and yet travelling like I only need an EzLink card on planes

Wednesday (23 Mar 05)
Whilst out for a movie, got offered a job at ING Bank. I like the boss, the pay's ok. But they have bullshit issues with headcount... hence gonna place me on 6 months renewable contract.

Did I mention that it's a BANK (aka financial related = accounting related = stigma)??

HR will call me on Tuesday. I will start work on Friday.

Thursday (24 Mar 05)
On my way out, I witness some bullies at work. 3 against 1. I felt very very angry. But I did nothing. They were birds.

Went to see regular FT about my job issue. She thinks I should take it up. And while mom was speaking to FT, another coy (Research Plus) calls. Ask FT... she did her magic, and told me in 10/52 cards flipped that I should take up the latter.

I remain confused at this point.

Saturday (26 Mar 05)
I went babysitting a 1-yr old ang moh baby gir for $10/hr at a suite in some Bugis hotel. The dad's a comedian from Australia, and he's here for a gig at some sleazy club.

At the end of the day...
I know neither of the 2 jobs are right for me, and I do not like either one of them cos I know they will not keep me for too long... and I AM STILL looking into recruit at this very moment.

But I have loads of external pressures to contend with, and I don't feel like I should place my personal happiness in priority at this point in time.

Yeah. So do not tell me good luck, for luck's not what I need for doing something I do not desire.

Just congratulate me, so I know I at least, maybe, made you happier that I am finally gonna be doing something.